More Power to the People

A household runs similarly to a government: it has public officials who establish and enforce rules. Although voting elections are not held every four years to decide who will be the next person to determine bedtime or candy-consumption portions, parents can choose whether they want to rule their home democratically or with an iron fist.

Based on what has been seen on TV-news broadcasting, civilians can become very vocal when legislators pass rigid laws and tolerate unfair behavior. Likewise, children may become rebellious when parents impose strict rules without consideration for their needs. As children approach school age, they should be allowed to give their input regarding what the house rules should be and, if broken, what consequences should follow. Nevertheless, the repercussions should never be verbally or physically abusive. A common parenting misconception is that parents should instill fear in their children if they want them to obey, yet this may lead to a breach in the father-son relationship. If parents want to be their child’s number one, go-to person for advice, they need to be approachable and emanate unconditional love. Finding the balance, however, between friend and authority figure is not always easy, so self-evaluating regularly is key to staying on track. If your child hesitates to ask for your help or share with you their concerns, perhaps you are being overly strict. On the other hand, if your child expects to receive the latest Apple product for simply remembering to wash their hands after going potty, then you may be exercising permissive parenting. When justified, parents should be flexible with a child’s request, but fixed boundaries should not be readjusted. No means no.

Even with the consent of the masses, full allegiance cannot always be expected. Occasionally children will go against the established rules, and they won’t back down without a fight. They may throw temper tantrums, and witnessing one at the toy isle in Target can be nearly unbearable. Unless it’s a minor temper tantrum, it is best not to ignore it. The child wants to be heard, and paying no attention to their wailing can be counterproductive. Speak to the child in a low and quiet voice, inform them that you are aware of their pain, and reassure them everything will be okay. Not taking the $400 LEGO Star Wars Death Star set is not the end of the world. Also, as hard as it may be, it’s imperative that parents keep their cool during an outburst. Children need to learn by example that anger is not a healthy reaction to a stressful situation. If the household rules encompass doing housework, making a game out of it and offering rewards for playing proves to be efficient.

Keeping law and order at home is not easy work, but it is possible. Whenever your child makes a good decision or solves a problem, they should be recognized for it. They need to receive feedback on their behavior, and be aware that their efforts are not in vain.