Hmmm...I'm wondering how I really feel about this.  Like I realize that this has worked for centuries adn maybe I'm messing with somethign that isnt broken.  I guess stickers dont bug me that much...but I have lots of friends who are rewarding their toddlers/preschoolers for doing things (going potty, putting their toys away, etc) with candy or the promise of a new toy. 

Jackson has been privy to this and this morning when he went potty he said "now i get candy" and I told him that we didnt have any (honest we don't).  He then threw a temper tantrum.  But lately when we've been needing to pick up toys or whatever I'll tell him that if he picks up all his toys he can pick any book off the shelf and I'll read it to him.  That seems to work for him.  But maybe for the pt'ing a earning something special would be a good goal for him.  Like x number of stickers gets him a movie date with mommy and/or daddy.  Or marbles in a jar....

Help me out here!  I don't want to give my kids EVERYTHING.  And I'm not trying to criticize anyone who uses these methods as a way to get their kids to learn what to do.  But I think there's something to be said for not always having EVERYTHING.

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Jess
Mom to Jack & Quinn

Indy Babywearers--contact me for more info!

Jess, I think that the reward system you suggested with a certain # of stickers/marbles earned is a good one--particularly if it is for something wonderful like special time with a parent doing something that Jackson really wants to do. The only thing I would caution is to not make the # needed for the reward too high since kids that age have a short attention span and if it feels like it is going to be forever until he gets the reward he might not try for it in the first place. We do and have done similar reward systems in the past--sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't! I like that reward systems put the focus on "choice." When we have used reward systems I feel that my son has had a better understanding that his actions are a matter of choice. He can choose the right way or the wrong way, but either way there are consequences. It carries over into other things (outside of the thing the reward system is in place for)...I can ask my son if he is misbehaving "Does it make you happy when you do that? Does it make Mommy happy?" Most of the time he realizes that whatever he is doing isn't worth the trouble he is going to get into and he changes his behavior. Some may believe differently, but that is my take...  

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Mari

Proud mama to Liam and Chloe

Okay so if I wanted to use a reward system for pt'ing.  How many would I do?  What an attainable goal for a 2.5 y/o?

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Jess
Mom to Jack & Quinn

Indy Babywearers--contact me for more info!

With pt'ing I would take it day by day...with small rewards to be given at the end of the day if there is success (so the rewards would have to be something you would be able to make time for) like a special book or a favorite food that isn't candy (LOL)....there is a bit of caution though...if a child is very, very smart they may figure out that if they mess up early in the day then it doesn't matter how good they are for the rest of the day cuz they are not gonna to get the reward. So, with that in mind I would build in some room for redemption in any reward situation. Go for the # of marbles, stickers, x's on a chart, etc he should attain (could be the typical # of times a day he usually goes minus one) to get the reward. Be consistant. Expect tears when he messes up, but do not give in just stress the importance of trying next time. Give LOTS of praise  each and every time he has a success. And after I say all of this I am going to say that may or it may not work for you. We do use it and it has worked for us on some things and not on others... 

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Mari

Proud mama to Liam and Chloe

Wow, he seems awfully little for a delayed reward...  I do marbles for good things (and I take them away for not so good things) like practicing piano without being asked, being respectful, helpful, etc. and then they can turn in their marbles for screen time.  But I  do it with my 8 yo and 5 yo, and he really didn't get into it until fairly recently.  Maybe 4-ish.  I highly recommend it in general, because it still works with my 8yo most of the time, after at least 2 years of marbles!

With potty, we did do treats, I think they got 1 chocolate chip each time or something.  I got a little worried for a while that it would be forever and they'd be asking for chocolate chips when they were 12..., but they eventually forget about the treat and just go potty for potty's sake.  I don't think it's terrible.

I agree not to make a big deal out of it.

w do a teddy bear chart 6 teddy's gets you a new book in this house for our 2 yr old she likes to put the teddy on the board if she is bad we take a teddy away but she knows if she is good 6 teddy's gets her a book and she can count to 6 so she knows what 6 is     oh i was going to tell you you might think this is silly but it helps with boys and pt  put cherrios in the potty and tell him to try and hit the cherrios its like a target practic game for boys and they are more willing to tell you i need to potty if they have a game made out of it worked great with my toddlers in the pre school  we had some that just would not want to let the teachers know they had to potty till we tried this and it worked well

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Jade sahm gypsie momma to sophia divina (1 mo) olivia ani (2YRS) philisha nyjan(6 YRS)

We have a sticker chart and the kids made the rules. (well we all sat down and brainstormed). There are spots for 40 stickers a piece with different intervals of where they can get rewards. 6 stickers earns them a cool pencil, 18 earns them a special treat, ect.  They can earn or loose stickers based on behavior.  The stickers also translate to allowance for the kiddos. Each sticker equates to one quarter. When Dh comes home he settles up with the kids and they get a quarter for every sticker they have earned since he was last home.  The allowance was mainly for the older 2 kids and not Mackie.

Of my 2, 4, 6 year olds guess whos always in the lead? Mackenzie. She totally gets it and does wonderfully. If anyone goes near her stickers she pitches a fit "No touch my stickers!"  Its the other 2 who need more work but its winter and they are getting antsy to play outside again. We got Mackie to poop on the toilet by offering 2 stickers for poops. She got it the first day.

Oh and the reward for getting all 40 stickers? They can buy ANY toy they want from the dollar store (well except guns ect). They think this is really cool, fortunately my kiddos dont realize everything there only costs a dollar, lmao.

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Kristine
Mommy of Joscelyne, Andrew and Mackenzie
Owner of www.BabySpaceSlings.com

As a techie, I might assign points to every good behaviour.  Then track them in a database.  Then let them run a randomizer than gives them a chance to win a prize based on how many points they have.  Wait, this seems familiar...

Seriously, I can wait until I can set up Rewards for Satori.  I love giving her things - I'd love to see her do things to try to get them.

David.

alliswater wrote:

As a techie, I might assign points to every good behaviour.  Then track them in a database.  Then let them run a randomizer than gives them a chance to win a prize based on how many points they have.  Wait, this seems familiar...

Seriously, I can wait until I can set up Rewards for Satori.  I love giving her things - I'd love to see her do things to try to get them.

David.

Oh my gosh, this had me laughing so hard, I almost shot soda through my nose!

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JoLynda

Mama to Jayna 7.10.05

alliswater wrote:

As a techie, I might assign points to every good behaviour.  Then track them in a database.  Then let them run a randomizer than gives them a chance to win a prize based on how many points they have.  Wait, this seems familiar...

Seriously, I can wait until I can set up Rewards for Satori.  I love giving her things - I'd love to see her do things to try to get them.

David.

LMAO you have me rolling here....  You wanna set something like this up for my kids too?

Oooh I did something similar when I subbed at a summer program for schoolagers. I had a roll of tickets and when they were doing really well or helping out ect they earned tickets  and those were chances to win a prize at the end of the week. they LOVED it, I had totally forgotten about that. My teaching days are a blur now compaired to mommy-hood. lmao

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Kristine
Mommy of Joscelyne, Andrew and Mackenzie
Owner of www.BabySpaceSlings.com

Jess when I was PTing zack at about the same age he was obsessed with his geo trax train.  We bought him the two trains he wanted (firetruck and dumptruck) and told him the firetruck was for pee and the dumptruck was for pooh (he chose that actually which seems ironic now when I think about it).  Anyway we told him if he did either one of the toilet functions for a week he coudl have his train.  If he had an accident then it would go away (although that being said we wound up using our judgement and only took it away if he knew he was going to pee or pooh and hid from us or something like that).  We made sure we asked him and reminded him constantly about going potty and it worked really well for him..  He had almost no accidents and i think he lost one train twice, and the other once, and then was completely trained (maybe sounds mean but we had already been working on it with him for quite some time before we tried this).  I agree with you about the candy though.  With weight problems myself that was not really something I wanted to do.  We also gave stickers per time as a daily reward while waiting for the trains/.

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SAHM to Max and Zachary

Weight Loss: 10 /21 pounds (first 10 %)
Total of goal: 10/100-only 90 to go :D

My sister pt'd my neice that way. She tried for a YEAR to pt her without anything but as soon as she gave her a cookie (a tiny one) or sticker for every successful potty trip Shelby was trained in a WEEK. Seriously. I'm doing that with Logan!

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Ann

Mommy to Logan 8-25-05

eaganbeautyadvisor wrote:

My sister pt'd my neice that way. She tried for a YEAR to pt her without anything but as soon as she gave her a cookie (a tiny one) or sticker for every successful potty trip Shelby was trained in a WEEK. Seriously. I'm doing that with Logan!

-

 

Yup after months of battles, it was the same with Zack.  My mom did it with my brother when we were young b/c he liked to poop and sit in it.  The dr told her about it-she said to him well isn't that bribery and the dr said "No , its called Positive Reinforcement"

TRUE STORY

Methods to live by

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SAHM to Max and Zachary

Weight Loss: 10 /21 pounds (first 10 %)
Total of goal: 10/100-only 90 to go :D

So despite my hating to give him candy...I bought a couple bags of those valentine conversation hearts.  He goes potty in the potty, he gets a piece of candy.  *sigh*  He's got 1 piece of candy so far today.

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Jess
Mom to Jack & Quinn

Indy Babywearers--contact me for more info!