Attached to Baby

Ok Max is 14.5 months now and I just can't do it anymore.  He is up a million times a night wanting to nurse and I can't take it anymore.  I have struggled through PPD and supply issues the whole time and quite frankly I am just ready to be done and have my body back to myself.  The last month or so, he chews on me instead of nursing and my nipples are so sore that it isn't even funny.  Last night was the straw that broke the camels back.  He woke at 3 am and wanted to nurse again and then screamed till 6 or so when he passed out.  Derek tried to calm him, i tried to calm him.  Cuddled him sang to him walked with him (we do still cosleep) but nothing worked.  It was insanity, pure chaos.

So this am when I woke up I decided to go cold turkey and wean him.  As some of you know, he has been chronically sick with EI's and  just about any cold that came down the pike this past year.  I had tried the gentle weaning and had him weaned during the day and nursing only at night (and trying to make it right before bed and not  again till after 230 or so.  But then he got sick again and went right back to  nursing all the time.  So I feel like I have no choice but to be a BIG OGRE and do this cold turkey as whenever i try to wean, he figures it out and gets very angry.  Last night was so awful and I am so tired that I a hoping by the end of the weekend this will all be done.  Sorry  to any of the bfing advocates.  I feel like I have done what I can and I really need to be done for ME! Sorry if that is selfish.  Any help, suggestions or just plain old HUGS are welcome.

BIG HIGS! I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I think 14.5 months is a huge accomplishment and don't beat yourself up for wanting to quit! My dd is 10 months and I'm more than ready to be done as well. I don't co-sleep, so I don't really have any advice for you on how to wean him, but just wanted to lend my support. I know there aren't a lot of advocates for CIO around here, but I have had to resort to it when nothing else has worked and it does get better! I hope things get better soon. More hugs!

Julie-

Thats rough.  You've done a fabulous job!  When Jack was night weaning-18 months or so- (his day times just kinda dropped off on their own), but I did the night weaning and it SUCKED for about 3 days.  I would tell him that I'd hold him, hug him, kiss him, sing to him but I would NOT nurse him.  After teh first 3 days it was much better and he started sleeping through the night.  I got better sleep, he got better sleep, and I was a better mommy.

I am somewhat of a bfing advocate but I wanted to say 14 months is admirable!

AAP says a year or as long as mutually desired, you've passed the required year, and since you are hating nursing, it must not be mutual anymore!

I have'nt weaned a baby, but I am thinking wouldn't weaning gradually (like even over a week) be easier on you both? Even just to avoid plugged ducts. At night you could say "night night" to mama milk, and maybe olny nurse a few times a day the first day or two, and then remove a feeding every couple days until you only have one, and then none?
Thats just my 2 cents. Good Luck.

lilsprstr wrote:

BIG HIGS! I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I think 14.5 months is a huge accomplishment and don't beat yourself up for wanting to quit! My dd is 10 months and I'm more than ready to be done as well. I don't co-sleep, so I don't really have any advice for you on how to wean him, but just wanted to lend my support. I know there aren't a lot of advocates for CIO around here, but I have had to resort to it when nothing else has worked and it does get better! I hope things get better soon. More hugs!

 

Honestly I have tried the CIO thing and it didn't work-i wish it would-max is just too stubborn.  The times i have tried that, It has wound up that he cries until he peuks. He cries for more than two hours with no end in sight and I fnally get to the point where I can't take it anymore.  Thanks for the support!

Jess-that is what I am hoping for is some good sleep!

Jayna's mama wrote:

I am somewhat of a bfing advocate but I wanted to say 14 months is admirable! AAP says a year or as long as mutually desired, you've passed the required year, and since you are hating nursing, it must not be mutual anymore! I have'nt weaned a baby, but I am thinking wouldn't weaning gradually (like even over a week) be easier on you both? Even just to avoid plugged ducts. At night you could say "night night" to mama milk, and maybe olny nurse a few times a day the first day or two, and then remove a feeding every couple days until you only have one, and then none? Thats just my 2 cents. Good Luck.

Jolynda, honestly, its not that I ahte bfing at all, but more that it is causing me so much pain to do that it is not enjoyable.  Not to mention at this point the sleeplessness for 14 months without being able to give him to someone else b/c he wants boobie is just getting to me.  I think weaning gradually would be easier, but everytime I try to do that, he just tortures me and wants to increase his feeds over and over.  I just don't have the heart to  listen to him scream over and over again nor do I have the energy so that is why I am resorting to this method.  Not sure, maybe it is a dumbidea and it wonn't work but we are trying.  So far he has been fine all day without nursing.  I guess I should have mentioned too that my supply has been very low lately so I am not as worried about plugged ducts as someone who has an adequate supply. It has been 19 hours since he nursed and my breasts are not all hard yet so I guess that is good.

thanks to all 3 of you ladies for the support.

Why am I doing this again?  I think insanity has set in. I about about two minutes from shoving a boob in that kids mouth so he will go to sleep-driving me mental. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ugh....:( So many hugs girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am in a similar situation! :(

BIG (((((((hugs)))))))

I got no advice, but I offer you my whole-hearted support! Max is soooo lucky to have such an awesome mama!

Thanks Jasmine and Lori-you guys are so sweet.  Off to google some links for engorged breasts

Unfortunately i was too weak and pathetic to stick to my guns and so being tired last night and engorged, I finally gave in to max and let him nurse for the first time in 30 hours.  He did it again 2 hours later.  Then tried to do it again and again but i sent him to dh.
Couldn't sleep at all lastt night not sure why.  Was a really bad night to have that happen though as my ISP took down my cable internet and tv for 7 HOURS last night for maintenance..  Needless to say, sunday is not off to a promising start :wall:wall:wall:wall:wall

When I weaned dc#3 and dc#4 (my two hardest weaners), the only thing I remember that worked was to have dh walk them/comfort them.  For us, keeping them in bed with me was like a constant reminder of what they couldn't have, so dh slept on the floor with them (next to our bed).   He had to do it, 'cause I sure couldn't handle the emotions, screaming etc.  Most dh's pry won't be as involved, but I think he sensed how close to crazy I was

Sending you lots of thoughts & hugs!!!

I am so sorry you are having troubles.
I weaned ds #2 over a weekend. He was 18 months, and we found out we were pregnant with #3. We just kept really busy, and I kept telling him it was "ALL GONE". We went to the zoo, children's museum, and a children's concert. He was really to busy to notice we weren't nursing. If he would ask, I just said "ALL GONE". He continued to ask for about a week, and then it was done.
I hope it gets better.
Beth

Lots of hugs from here too! Similar situation for me as well with my 15mo DS, though he doesn't nurse quite as often!! I understand being done.. I'm pretty much done as well. I've tried telling him mommy needs to sleep, nurse in the morning, etc. but he cries and I'd still too chicken :( I think I've read they don't really understand those concepts until around 18 months.

I do have a plan, but it's a long term plan and I hope to really start on weaning around 18 months. We're in the middle of moving so not the best time at all to be doing it, so waiting until we're settled down again and hoping my back doesn't go out in the meantime!

Sounds like you've done a great job so far, and you'll get through it. You're not alone!!

Ugh totally not going well still!! He was ok but I have developed plugged ducts in  my right breast so I am putting him back on in the hopes of clearing it up before it develops into mastitis.  SPent the day on the phone with LLL and the health nurse getting ideas of how to fix it.  Wish us luck!